We just got done watching Louis Theroux’s Inside The Manosphere on Netflix, and it got me thinking… a lot.
As a mum of boys, I’ll be honest – parts of it are genuinely unsettling. This world that’s becoming more and more visible online? It’s loud, it’s influential, and it’s shaping how young men think about themselves, women, success… literally everything – and not in a good way.
But alongside that, it sparked a completely different thought in me – The manosphere vs women’s weight loss culture – stay with me.
The Discipline Divide
One thing that was really clear from what was only a glimpse into the manosphere was this consistent theme of discipline. Men are being taught to build habits, show up regardless of how you feel, stay consistent and take ownership. Whether you agree with the delivery or not, there is power in that.
Let’s be honest, discipline – real discipline – is what creates change – whether you are a man or a woman.
But when I look at women’s weight loss culture It’s almost the opposite vibe entirely. It’s emotional. It’s reactive. And if anything… it actually strips women of their power rather than building them up.
What the Manosphere Gets Right
I’ll be honest, even writing that heading is painful – “What the Manosphere Gets Right” feels like an oxymoron in itself, but stick with me for a second. As uncomfortable as it is to admit, there are elements within that space that do work. The idea that success comes from consistency, not motivation (it does), routines matter more than willpower (they do), habits beat short bursts of effort (truth), no one is coming to save you – literally.
That last one especially.
As harsh as it sounds, there’s something incredibly powerful about taking ownership about realising that your results are built by what you do daily, not what you intend to do.
Now, if I could take those principles… and remove the misogyny, the sexism, the extreme views and, quite frankly, 99% of the rest of it – we’d actually be left with something useful.
But that’s not the reality.
What Women Have Been Taught Instead
So where does that leave women? Whilst men are being pushed towards discipline, women are still stuck in a cycle that looks like this:
“I’ll start Monday.”
“I’ve been good today.”
“I was bad this weekend.”
“I’ve ruined it now.”
It’s not structured. It’s not a strategy. It’s shame being turned out as motivation. We’ve been taught to restrict instead of understand, rely on motivation instead of systems, label our food as good or bad and swing between extremes in an all-or-nothing, on or off, perfect or failed world. In some ways, this is as equally as toxic as The Manosphere!
And then we wonder why it doesn’t stick.
The Real Problem
The truth is, women don’t struggle with weight loss because they lack willpower. They struggle because they’ve never been taught how to build structure. No one explains what their calorie intake should actually look like, how to prioritise protein, how to build habits that fit into real life or even how to stay consistent without being perfect.
It’s all quick fixes, points systems, “plans”, detoxes… all things that rely on you being “good” rather than being consistent. That’s not empowering. It’s nothing more than exhausting and a setup for failure.
My Turning Point
I say all of this as someone who lived it. I’ve lost over seven and a half stone after years of failed weight loss attempts. Buying into every fad, the teas, the shakes, the starvation. I was stuck in that exact cycle for years. Constantly starting over, feeling guilty and trying to be “better”.
And guess what – it never worked long term.
Everything changed when I stopped trying to be perfect… and started focusing on being consistent. When I learned what my body actually needed, how to track without obsession and how to build habits I could repeat! That’s when the results came. Not from punishment, not from extremes, but from actual structure.
The Double Standard No One Talks About
And then there’s this part… which people don’t like talking about – but we need to. The elephant in the room when it comes to “shortcuts”, the rules aren’t the same for men and women. If a woman takes something like Mounjaro or a GLP-1 to support weight loss, it’s often labelled as cheating, lazy, “the easy way out” and there’s this underlying tone of – “Well she didn’t really do it properly”
But in the same breath?
Men will openly talk in gyms about steroids, enhancers, testosterone… and it’s almost worn like a badge of honour. It’s framed as optimisation, commitment or “doing what it takes.”
Same concept. Completely different judgment. It’s not that I think GLP-1’s are the way to go – I actually don’t, but these are facts.
And then there’s Appearance. Let’s not pretend this doesn’t play a part either. We can beat around the bush, but let’s be real, regardless of the body positive movement socially, the expectations when it comes to appearance aren’t equal for men and women – and spoiler alert – they never have been.
A woman is expected to be slim, toned, “put together”, attractive
And if she’s not?
The narrative quickly becomes:
“She’s let herself go”
But a man?
He can carry extra weight and still be seen as successful, funny, confident, desirable and muscled. A man’s body isn’t judged as harshly. It’s not tied to his value in the same way.
Why This Matters
And this is exactly why this conversation matters, because women are under more pressure, judged more harshly, given less effective tools and then blamed when it doesn’t work. We’re expected to achieve a result… but without structure, without support, and without taking the same “shortcuts” that are normalised with our gender peers.
And this is where it all ties back in.
It’s not that women need more pressure or more judgment, and we certainly don’t need more extremes. We need better information and a better structure, literally a way of doing this that actually puts them back in control.
The Bit That Actually Matters
This isn’t an attack on women, and it’s definitely not an endorsement of the manosphere – because ew gross, but it is a call to look at the difference. Somewhere along the line, women were sold the idea that weight loss is about being good, staying motivated, and trying harder when actually? It’s about showing up consistently, even when you don’t feel like it.
Discipline isn’t toxic. Extremes are.
You don’t need to punish yourself. You don’t need to be perfect, and you definitely don’t need to start again on Monday.
Maybe the problem was never your willpower.
Maybe you were just never taught how to do it in a way that actually works.
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Love as always!
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