Can you really have it all? Realistically. The house, the career, the husband, family and kids – delete and change where appropriate. It’s a question I have asked myself many times over the years after society made it very clear early on that I would have to make ‘sacrifices’ and ‘pick.’ Why can’t we have it all? I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can!
Don’t Be Put In A Box.
Society is obsessed with labels and boxes with pretty bows. Everyone should fit in one confined by its constraints, and yet all that brings is misery. What if I don’t want your label? What if I don’t want to be suppressed in a box without choices? We are taught to believe that life is a struggle. That we cannot possibly have everything and as a result, we have to choose and with that choice comes a proportion of misery.
Women (and men) are told that we must do, be and have certain things. Not only that but we must have them by certain ages. Not following the formula means you are a failure, and you are failing – or does it?
I’ve spoken to numerous women over the past few years that have simply resigned to the fact that they cannot possibly have it all. So instead, they must choose a career or family – you can’t have both. Except you can.
Having It All Isn’t Easy.
Some people believe that to have it all means you will struggle, that you won’t be good at anything and simply fail in all areas. Why do we think that? Is it through trial and error? Is it through experience and knowledge? Or is it someone telling us that’s the way? Now, don’t get me wrong, having it all isn’t easy. The more you put on your plate, the harder it will be. Yet hard doesn’t always equate to struggle. Hard is just a case of planning and organisation and understanding and an element of flexibility. Hard is just juggling more balls.
If you want it all, you can have it all. Now don’t get me wrong – not everyone wants it all. Some people prefer to forgo a career to be a parent. Some people don’t want children at all, and their career becomes the centre. There is no wrong, and there is no right except to tell someone they cannot have something; that’s a whole world of wrong.
I used to think now that I am a mother, I cannot be a businesswoman. The only three letters associated with me are MUM, not CEO. I assumed that in choosing children, I had decided not to pursue a career, and for the most part, that was correct. Except my children started to grow, and I still felt a piece of me was missing. I was envious of business owners, entrepreneurs and sole traders. Sure, I didn’t want to work all hours for a boss that couldn’t care less about me, but the idea of having a piece of something my own felt liberating. So I took it. Both hands reached out and grabbed what I desired. Why not? Why can’t I become CEO and Mum at the same time?
Yes, the days are long. My mind races at a million miles an hour sometimes. I don’t love every second of every day when it’s stressful. But the rewards. The rewards are more than fulfilling. Being there for my children and having my own business makes me feel pretty badass.
Let’s Build Each Other Up
Listen, little fierce one, if you want it all, you go out there, and you take it all the only person standing in your way is you. Now let us all be humble and not judge. A mother fighting for a career and still trying to do bedtime is an admiration, not a mess. Let’s support our fellow colleagues, friends and parents as they smash the constraints held upon so many of us. If you look around your circle and you are not being encouraged and built up – it’s time for a new circle, not a new plan!
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Love as always!
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